Los Angeles vs. Boston.
True, Dodgers and Red Sox fans have had little reason to snipe at each other … but these cities’ sports fans have a history. Lakers vs. Celtics, remember?
This column, by the way, continues a postseason tradition. Columnists are expected to produce snarky comments about the opponent’s city before a big series begins. (We’ve been known to take shots at our own, too, so be prepared.)
There are commonalities between the cities, but there are radically different ways of looking at things. Bostonians considered Manny Ramirez toxic. We looked at him as quirky when the Dodgers traded for him. (But then the drug tests came back and, well …)
More recently, New Englanders still consider Adrián González soft and unable to handle their, um, unusually obsessive approach. In L.A. he was an important contributor and a conduit to the Latino community. (Until he became the vehicle to get Matt Kemp back to L.A., which turned out to be more important than it seemed at the time.)
Then again, Bostonians consider everything in L.A. soft. We simply consider them crazy.
They still revere Dave Roberts in Boston over something that happened 14 years ago. (Pun unintended, for those of you who actually studied American History in school). In L.A., at least half of the fan base grouses over his lineups and bullpen usage, but he got the Dodgers here for a second straight year.
Both regions share a contempt for Frank McCourt. Bostonians, who unfortunately have to count him as one of their own, suspected he was a film-flam man. Dodger fans had their suspicions confirmed the hard way.
(And even though he left the team to the stewardship of Guggenheim Baseball, remember that McCourt still takes a healthy cut of the Dodger Stadium parking revenue. That’s fitting for the guy that former columnist T.J. Simers liked to call the “Parking Lot Attendant.”)
We did celebrate along with New England the year the Patriots won their first Lombardi Trophy by beating the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI, but that requires explanation. Those were the days when the Rams called St. Louis home and were essentially dead to us. They were also the days before Belichick became Belichick, Brady became Brady and the Pats became insufferable.
You may know a Red Sox fan. You may live next door to one, or occupy an adjacent cubicle, or date or even be married to one. Generally, that person is either a front-runner, someone whose fandom dates back to 2004 (see: Roberts, stolen base, et.al.), or he or she is a New England native. And there is a good reason why New Englanders with their funny accents move here, and an equally good reason why people from here don’t tend to move there. No further explanation beyond the January weather report should be necessary.
Some other comparisons:
Weather: They discuss Nor’easters. We talk about El Niño.
Tourist traps: They have Duck Boat tours. We sell maps of the stars’ homes. Sometimes they’re even accurate.
Ballpark food: They have Fenway Franks. We have Dodger Dogs. Yeah, it’s a matter of taste, but I’ll go with our footlongs, mustard and relish, please.
Non-ballpark food: They have chowdah (the particular pronunciation is important), and New England white almost always beats Manhattan red. We have In-N-Out. The edge is ours: You can get chowdah here, but you can’t get In-N-Out there.
Noted college neighborhood: They have Cambridge, and a reasonably efficient public transportation system to get you there. We have Westwood, and westside gridlock. Not even the proximity to the beach can make up for that on a weekday afternoon.
President with local ties: They have JFK. We have Ronald Reagan. (But remember, Kennedy was nominated in L.A.)
Football icon: They have Tom Brady. We’re working on it.
Hockey icon: They have Bobby Orr. We have, or at least share, Wayne Gretzky. (L.A. also has two Cups since Boston’s last one, though you couldn’t tell the way the Kings have been playing lately.)
Baseball icon: They have Ted Williams. We have Sandy Koufax. Sandy won more rings and his 1962-1966 output will rank with anybody’s in this sport. But Ted (may he rest in peace) will always be associated with .406.
Basketball icons: They have Bill Russell and Larry Bird. We have … oh, let’s see: West, Baylor, Wilt, Magic, Kareem, Shaq, Kobe, LeBron. Shall we continue?
Basketball coaching icons: Phil Jackson won only five championships as a coach here — only? — but his 11 top Red Auerbach’s nine. Deal with it, New England.
(Yes, Doc Rivers has history in both cities. And no, for purposes of this comparison, he doesn’t count.)
Transportation project: They had the Big Dig, which was completed in 2007 and won’t be paid off until 2038. We have the Purple Line extension, aka the Subway To The Sea, or we would if folks in Beverly Hills would just cooperate. (See: gridlock, above.)
TV show set locally: They will always have Cheers. The Bull and Finch Pub, used for the exterior shots for that sitcom, sold Cheers merchandise for years and eventually made it official by changing its name to Cheers Beacon Hill. We could offer Ray Donovan, though the main characters in that show all were originally from Southie. A better idea: The Big Bang Theory, which shows that Caltech and comedy can indeed mix.
Local river: They have the Charles River, which actually flows when it doesn’t rain. We have the L.A. River, and someday we’ll figure out what to do with it.
Finally, ballparks: They have venerable Fenway, and while the Red Sox have tried to upgrade they’re pretty well hemmed in by their location. We have Dodger Stadium, a modernization challenge in its own way. But each perfectly captures the character of its city and its fan base.
They’re classic parks. May we have a classic Series to go with it.
jalexander@scng.com
@Jim_Alexander on Twitter
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